Friday, May 10, 2013

Getting Married in the 80's

May 10, 1986
{Yes, it was the 80's with long-sleeved, high-necked wedding gowns, and BIG hair.
And white tuxedos. :) }
Our wedding gift from Fr. Decoteau, Fr. Kohler, and Fr. O'Brien.
Honestly, at the time, I had no idea what it was other than a special blessing from the Holy Father. And, still, that's exactly what it is.
The dear priest who married us and baptized our first three babies. He survived a prisoner of war camp during WWII and taught me more about life without ever really saying a word. His calm presence, humble manner and sometimes a simple wise look of the eye spoke volumes to this young college girl who was so ignorant and who thought she knew so much about life. (I didn't.).
I think young married couples are probably pretty much the same as they were in the 80's. We really had no clue as to what we were getting ourselves into. Who can foresee the future? And maybe that's a good thing. Isn't it?
We certainly weren't as into religion and church and faith as we should have been. I'm not sure either of us knew that by saying "I do." it meant we were supposed to be guiding, leading, helping one another get to heaven. If they told us that at marriage prep, it was overshadowed by the stalling question of "Now why isn't birth control acceptable?"
Yes, even in the 80's we were questioning that.
And I remember shortly after taking these vows , which included answering "We will"  to the question "Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?", I was doing some newlywed shopping at the grocery store and a friend whispered smoldering to me that did-you-know this other parishioner was pregnant again! For how many? Her fifth one!
I remember almost falling over into the meat freezer at the mere thought of having that many children.
{From what I hear, God hasn't lost His sense of humor.}
It was protocol in the 80's for the groomsmen to write "HELP ME!" on the soles or heels of the groom's shoes. I think Mark was showing his older brother that he got away with his shoes untouched. I wonder if he wishes he had let them do it, and rescued him as well.
And my father-in-law could not wait to get that coat taken off. :) {It was in May}
Gosh, I do miss that dear father-in-love. Our fathers really did define our future marriage and yet people say today that dads don't matter much. How sad.
* * * * *
This picture makes me want to say as Toula Portokalos does in My Big Fat Greek Wedding:
"I'm a snow beast."
Have I mentioned this was the 80's?
We didn't have manicured nails. We did them at home and made sure they were just nice and neat.
Cake was, and still is the centerpiece of every wedding reception. I've been told that in the good ol' days, the aunts and nannies and grandmothers all made their best cake and carried it to the wedding feast. There would be a table spread with every kind of cake imaginable.
My parents and my parent-in-laws had a simple ceremony with cake and punch served afterwards. Ours was a buffet line-up of finger foods and fruits and veggies with a grooms table and the bridal table off to the side so people could serve and mingle at leisure.
Wedding receptions have become more elaborate and more expensive. Whole meals are served and sit-down dinners have become quite popular.
Simple or eloquent, the wedding cake still reigns supreme.
One last thing...getting married in the 80's meant you didn't have digital photographs. Dark rooms were still used and hired photographers made sure everyone was still stiff and stark. And, in order to share your wedding photos in the 21st century? You can snap a copy of it with your iphone and post it on your blog to keep forever until the next good techie thing comes along. :)
 I did it back in 1986 and, 27 years later, I would do it all over again in 2013.
But only with this one guy. ;-)
Don't forget we're Praying 40 Days for All Marriages here at the Cajun Cottage.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations and many heartfelt blessings on yor anniversary. I loved this look at your wedding day :-)


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