Tuesday, July 15, 2014

"Calm Your Nerves"

This is a favorite saying of my soon-to-be daughter-in-law when the baby is fussy or fretting. I found it humorous at first, then I quickly began using it with my younger girls, a teen and preteen who can easily become fussy over a variety of things.

"Calm Your Nerves."

Surprisingly, and I'm sure it's the humor projected from saying it, I find that it helps calm my nerves. In reality, the mother must calm her own nerves before we can expect to calm the child's nerves. Often we're tense over bills to be paid, supper to be cooked, errands to run, deadlines to meet, expectations to follow. Those darn expectations! Our children sense the twinge of our nerves and hear the echo in the tone of our voice.

It doesn't do the children any good if I am wound-up tight alongside of them. Taunt wires become frayed and pop. I remember those times. Though inevitable in every household, I don't want them in mine. It helps to be reminded to loosen those wires. Masterly inactivity always serves our children well. It allows them an "easy, happy relationship" with their parent.

That's an important commodity.

It helped me today to get reacquainted with an old mentor of mine through this article.

"Like it or not, we inspire our children. The question is, what do we inspire in them? If we are harried and hurried, we are certainly not at our best. Our attitudes are contagious. When we argue, complain, or speak bitter words, our children learn from that:
“A nervous, anxious, worried mother can’t have an easy, happy relationship with her child. She might be the best mother in the world in all other respects, but all her children will pick up from her when she’s like that is a touch of her nerves, which is the most contagious of bad habits. She’ll perceive her children as grouchy, rebellious, and unmanageable, but she won’t realize that it’s her own fault–not the fault of her actions, but the fault of her mood.”  ~ Charlotte Mason
Read more here: Masterly Inactivity by Jamie

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